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"Bringing My Catatonic Ex GF on Our Date to Balthazar" by Vivi Hayes

I just knew you wouldn’t have the self-control to not neg me about my backpack. I FUCKING HATE YOU ART HOES. I hate you. Kidding! Kidding... God. Nah. I’m used to this, I'm always going against the grain. That's my whole thing kinda. It’s actually the reason you’re attracted to me, you just aren’t aware of that yet. I guess you don’t know this, but it’s in vogue for guys to wear backpacks now. I swear, ever since Abel wore one. No, not Cain and Abel Abel. That was crazy though. Dude straigh