"you're lit mag sucks" by Theo Thimo

nobody reads ur dumb web site

where all you do is publish histrionic liars

who keep losing so badly they dont know what to do

what happened to the oldheads?

wheres alt lit 1.0 at? these new kids

can’t even read a simple short story in spanish

they twerk on call to their friends

they go to school to fight girls

bro they are submitting to expat and bizzare publishing house

the scene may never recover

the consequences will never be the same

to the world, i’m sending out a major love

and this is my message you:

you done goofed! bc i backtraced it!

you’ve just been reported to the cyberpolice

Theo Thimo is the Author of OMG The Day (2020), Trauma In Metro (Amygdala Press, 2020), and a forthcoming novella, Simp (Simon & Schuster, 2026).

Theo Thimo is on X @theoooeooo and Instagram @theoooeooo

the state of indie lit today

so like, what’s up with indie lit these days? it’s kinda wild, right? i mean, we used to have this vibe where writers were all about pushing boundaries. now? it feels like everyone’s just chasing trends. it’s like, where’s the soul? where’s the weirdness?

the rise of the new kids

these new kids are all about the clout. they’re more into their followers than their craft. i get it, social media is a thing, but c’mon. can we get some depth here? it’s like they’re too busy flexing on their feeds to actually write something meaningful.

the struggle of the oldheads

and then you have the oldheads, right? they’re out here reminiscing about the good ol’ days. the days when writing was raw and unfiltered. they’re like, “what happened to the art?” and honestly, i feel them. it’s like we’ve lost that connection to the written word.

the future of literature

but hey, maybe there’s hope. maybe these new kids will surprise us. maybe they’ll find their way back to the roots of storytelling. or maybe they’ll just keep posting their selfies. who knows?

a message to the writers

to all the indie writers out there, keep pushing. keep creating. don’t let the noise drown you out. your voice matters. even if it feels like nobody’s listening, trust me, someone is.

the power of unconventional stories

there’s something magical about unconventional stories. they challenge norms and make us think. they’re the kind of stories that stick with you. so, if you’re writing something weird and wonderful, keep going. the world needs it.

final thoughts

so, yeah, let’s keep the spirit of indie lit alive. let’s embrace the bizarre and the unconventional. because at the end of the day, that’s what makes literature exciting. and who knows? maybe one day, we’ll look back and see how far we’ve come.

and remember, if you’re feeling lost or overwhelmed, just take a step back. breathe. it’s okay to question everything. we’re all just trying to figure it out, right?

and don’t forget, you can always check out Bizarre Publishing House for more unconventional reads. stay weird, fam! ✌️